​If you were to take a photo of someone in a spiritual direction session and a counseling/mental health therapy session, your photos would likely look similar. Your photo might show two people sitting comfortably in a private space, talking or listening. Maybe you’d see deep emotion on people’s faces, as they share weighty and personal matters. Maybe you’d see people laughing together. Or reaching for a box of tissues.
 
But what about if you were to take a video or audio recording of someone in each of these types of sessions? What would you notice then?
 
We’ve asked a spiritual director and a clinical psychologist to share what typically goes on when they host these sessions, to help us better understand how they can overlap and how they’re different. Of course, sessions can vary widely from provider to provider and client to client, but here are some good general insights.
 
From Sierra Neiman Westbrook, M.Div, certified spiritual director:
When I host a spiritual direction session, I typically start by encouraging a moment of silence and/or by me reading a short passage from scripture, a poem, or a quote from a book. This is meant to help the directee (client) and me to settle our thoughts, slow down our breathing and heartrate from the hurry we might have been in to arrive, and to turn our awareness to God’s presence with us. Then I ask a very open-ended question like, “What has been standing out to you lately?” In response, my directee might bring up absolutely anything: something relating to their relationship with their partner, a frustration from work, an opportunity they’re trying to discern next steps on, a piece of global news, or something from their past experience, for example. And I’ll listen.
 
I’m trained as an attentive, compassionate, and non-judgmental listener. I’m also trained to not give advice or share how my own experience is similar or different from the directee’s. Nor do I presume to know exactly how God is guiding my directee in the midst of their circumstances. So I’ll highlight what I’m hearing them say, ask clarifying questions, point out what I notice is stirring up strong emotion for them, and ask questions to encourage deeper thinking. I might invite us to take more silent pauses along the way. All of this is meant to help us listen together to our true “director,” which in Christ-centered spiritual direction we know to be God.
 
At the end of a session we might take yet another moment to pause in silence, with the directee perhaps identifying some thoughts or questions they want to hold onto. I may also suggest some resources for them to look into, and/or practices to try. Some directees also request that I pray for them out loud as we conclude our session. 
 
I usually meet with each directee about once per month, and might continue meeting with them for years. Many folks who engage in spiritual direction see this way of processing/listening together as a spiritual practice.
 
 
From Justin Neiman Westbrook, Ph.D., licensed psychologist:
A course of mental health therapy will typically start with an intake appointment. The therapist will ask a lot of questions about various aspects of the client’s life in order to lay a foundation to build upon moving forward in therapy. Unlike spiritual direction, mental health therapy typically includes a mental health diagnosis. This diagnosis and the conceptualization of what is causing and maintaining the diagnosis provide guidance in creating a treatment plan that the therapist and client collaborate on together. Various topics can be relevant and discussed within the parameters of the treatment plan.
 
Subsequent follow-up sessions could start in one of a few ways. The therapist might begin by following up on what was discussed at the previous appointment and what the client had decided to work on in between sessions. If there was not homework, the therapist could start with a brief recap of what had been discussed in the previous appointment to determine whether those topics needed further exploration in the current session. The therapist might start with an open-ended question, such as “What do we need to focus on today?” The therapist might opt to begin with silence, inviting the client to begin wherever they need to without the therapist setting the agenda. In a more structured form of therapy focused on learning specific skills, the therapist would introduce the topic of the current session after reviewing the homework.
 
Therapists might engage with clients in a variety of ways within a session. Genuineness, empathy, and respect underlie everything else. Research has consistently shown that the therapeutic relationship has the greatest impact on client outcomes. Therapists are trained to communicate effectively, listen well, and develop and maintain this therapeutic relationship. Within that relationship, therapists typically work with clients on developing insight and/or techniques in order to help them address the issues they came to therapy for.
 
Therapy sessions often end with a summary of what has been discussed in the session. This may involve identifying what the client has decided to work on before the following session based on what was explored in the current session.
 
Length and frequency of therapy vary based on the client’s need. Some forms of therapy involve having multiple sessions per week for several weeks, months, or even years. Other forms of therapy involve meeting weekly or every other week, particularly at first. As clients make progress on their goals, frequency of sessions tends to decrease and eventually lead toward the end of a given course of therapy. Some clients like to meet with a therapist regularly for ongoing support. Other clients come to therapy to address a specific issue and are ready to end therapy once they have done so or have at least gotten what they need in order to continue working on it on their own. Regardless, therapy is meant to end, though clients are welcome to return in the future as needed.

Has this post helped to clarify the differences between spiritual formation and mental-health therapy? In case you're wondering, it's fine to engage in both spiritual direction and therapy at the same time, as long as you have the mental and emotional stamina for lots of deep thinking and processing! 

What additional questions do you have? (Continue the conversation here)

Spiritual Direction has been around for almost 2,000 years, with many sources tracing its origins to the 3rd-century monastics known as the "Desert Fathers" and "Desert Mothers." Yet prior to the late 20th century, spiritual direction was not widely practiced outside of Catholic circles, and even within Catholicism, it was most often engaged in by monks, nuns, and church clergy members. So it's no surprise that many of us are still trying to understand what spiritual direction is. 

Eden Spiritual Care currently has three trained and certified spiritual directors on our team--Chelle Miller, Josh Beaty, and Sierra Neiman Westbrook--and we recently asked each of them how they explain to others what spiritual direction is. 

​Chelle Miller: "Spiritual direction is a journey of faith where a director comes alongside a seeker to offer discernment, support, prayer, and encouragement to find greater intimacy with God. Spiritual direction will most likely focus on contemplative prayer, and meditation. A spiritual director will offer little actual direction, opting to listen and ask questions over giving advice. Listening to the Holy Spirit is key. Unlike therapy, spiritual direction is not concerned with solving specific problems."

Josh Beaty: "I lean towards using companion and advocate to explain spiritual direction. I want to convey that I am on a person’s side for the purposes of exploring God’s activity in their life."

​Sierra Neiman Westbrook: "Spiritual direction sessions are listening sessions, in which the spiritual director listens as the directee (client) processes any part of their life through a lens of spirituality or faith. Sessions are completely confidential, and spiritual directors aim to be welcoming and without judgment in what people share. Rather than giving advice or sharing from the director's own experience, the spiritual director gives people an opportunity to be heard (or have their story witnessed), and the director asks questions and encourages pauses to facilitate the directee's opportunity to be guided with insights from God. So the “direction” in spiritual direction comes from God rather than from the director. The spiritual director simply helps set up the space to facilitate lingering/contemplation, questioning, and deeper thinking."

In just one month, Eden Spiritual Care will celebrate our seventh birthday! That’s seven years of seeking to follow the passion God has given us for breaking down barriers to Christ-centered spiritual growth opportunities and offering high-quality resources that meet real-life needs.
 
Recently, our board of directors sat down to review what has proven most life-giving for folks who engage with Eden Spiritual Care. We also asked how we can continue meeting these needs while stewarding donor funds and team energy as best as we can.
 
Eden Spiritual Care’s founding happened to take place at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, and while many start-ups found this a tremendously challenging time to get off the ground and gain momentum, our online classes and retreats soared. Our very first classes quickly filled to capacity, with people joining in from across the globe, creating diverse and enriching community. In more recent years, we’ve seen hunger for online community tapering off, while the stresses, grief, opportunities, and questions from life in our world today create a desire for deeper processing and space for discernment. It’s no surprise, then, that we’re seeing steadily increasing engagement with the spiritual direction sessions Eden Spiritual Care offers.
 
So as a team, we have decided to focus intently on spiritual direction in this new year, and conserve resources we’ve typically poured into classes, book groups, and retreats.
 
Our two online “Retreats in Place” will remain available for you to access whenever you’d like, as will our “Prayer in Real Life” podcast-based class. Our social media posts will continue to offer thoughtful reflection questions, quotes, and pieces of beauty. But new classes, book groups, and retreats will be on pause this year.
 
In the coming months, please watch our newsletter and social media pages for new content related to spiritual direction. Maybe you’ve heard of spiritual direction but aren’t quite sure what it is. Maybe you’ve met with a spiritual director before, but still have questions about this practice of processing your life through the lens of faith or spirituality with a trained listener. We hope we can shed some light, and perhaps you’ll decide to book a no-obligations get-to-know-you session with one of our three certified spiritual directors.
 
Here’s to another year of seeking to follow God’s guidance. May Eden Spiritual Care’s response to this nudge to concentrate our resources on spiritual direction serve you well and serve Christ well. 



​Continue the conversation in the comments, below! 

Have you ever gone on a personal retreat? 

Four years ago, some friends sparked my interest when they asked my husband and I if we would be willing to look after their children over a weekend, while they went on a personal retreat. The retreat was not a programmed event through a church or organization. Our friends booked a small cabin in rural Southwest Michigan and highly recommend this retreat center to us.

Following their steps, we decided to give it a try and have gone at least four times. It’s amazing what silence and simplicity do to heal your nervous system! 

This retreat center was true to its name. It wasn't a place where people could also enjoy a family vacation and fun activities. In fact, there’s not much to do there. Nearby is an abbey where visitors can attend mass. Weather permitting, you could go on walks, but otherwise, you stay in your cabin, read, meditate, pray, journal, do some type of art, and talk if you decide to bring someone along. No phone signals or Wi-Fi connection. 

But a recent retreat took on a new twist for me. My spirit was crying out for rest. I decided to go on a solo retreat—something I had never done before. For three days and two nights, it was total silence and stillness. I had to let go of the things I normally relied on for comfort and security—my partner and conversations. Upon my arrival, I sensed that I wasn’t going to be able to think my way through the quiet and stillness of the next few days. And to my surprise, I felt fear of being alone, especially after the days got dark, alone in a cabin in the middle of nowhere and completely cut off.  

But in the last hours before I had to leave to return home on the third day, I realized what a gift this had been—to be alone for three days, particularly alone in the dark. There's a quote from Barbara Brown Taylor that captures this well: “What darkness has taught me is that it is fine to slow down enough in the dark to feel my way instead of thinking my way forward.” My solo retreat in the end can be described as slightly terrifying, but also exciting and full of wonder and rest. 

The next time your spirit is crying out for rest, listen to it. Remember, Jesus frequently withdrew from crowds and from his disciples. Despite his ministry's demands, he found time to retreat in solitary places and restore his spirit.
​

Have you gone on a solo retreat? Does the idea excite you? Terrify you? (Continue the conversation in the comments, below.)

This summer, I am retiring.  Despite 10 years being relatively happy in my workplace, I am thrilled for this change. I am one of those people who usually doesn’t like their job. Pretty much all my life, I bounced around from hated jobs to loathed jobs, but they allowed me to stay home with my son when he was young and travel with my husband on missions. I treasured both opportunities, but I really had nothing to show that was my accomplishment. I was feeling lost and resentful. I had finished my bachelor's degree over 25 years of flirting with learning, but I still didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up and I was flailing.

Fortunately, I was invited to take spiritual formation classes and found that I lost my attitude, resentment, and judgement, and found direction, grace, and a long-lost calling. At 59, I went to seminary and found a renewed faith in Jesus. All of which begged the question, “Now what?” I decided if I am to be happy, I needed to take some even bigger risks.

The first was agreeing to live part-time in Mexico with my husband. We agreed on two months here in the US, and two months there. Our first two months in Mexico starts this September, and I took my first Spanish class recently (part of the risk…I don’t speak Spanish). This introvert is daring to venture into new environments and cultures, alone! My husband will be working a good part of the trip.

The second is seeking ordination. I have dreamed of this for many years, yet thought it was too late. Then my pastor encouraged me to pursue it and to stay active with my church in small-group training, mentoring, and preaching when we are in country. I have turned in my application and I am putting the finishing touches on my required paper before the mandatory interview by the ordination committee. My knees knock each time I think of it!

The third is staying busy since my husband is not retiring at all. Eden Spiritual Care has given me the opportunity to pursue Spiritual Direction, teaching classes, and facilitating book clubs, all online, so I can be in two different countries living a dream to serve God vocationally.

I tell you this because it is never too late to take risks and challenge yourself to grow and be joyful. At 65, I am excited and flushed every day thinking of the possibilities. 

Are there dreams you wanted and never pursued? Are you hearing the Lord’s voice whisper to you? Fear not! Dare to dream. To follow. Dare to go!

 
Continue the conversation in the comments, below.

Years ago, as I helped my parents pack up my childhood home for a move to a retirement community, I came across a first edition copy of Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s Gift From the Sea. In this 1956 release, Lindbergh shares her meditations on youth and age; love and marriage; peace and contentment—all written during a brief vacation by the sea. She challenges the trappings of modernity that threaten to overwhelm us, the ways we make life more complicated. And though she later admits the popular, slim volume was not her best work, it remains a timeless classic.
 
Nearly 70 years later I find it resonates. This passage, especially, seems written for our times:
 
“Today a kind of planetal point of view has burst upon mankind. The world is rumbling and erupting in ever-widening circles around us. The tensions, conflicts and sufferings even in the outermost circle touch us all, reverberate in all of us. We cannot avoid these vibrations.

“But just how far can we implement this planetal awareness? We are asked today to feel compassionately for everyone in the world; to digest intellectually all the information spread out in public print; and to implement in action every ethical impulse aroused by our hearts and minds. The interrelatedness of the world links us constantly with more people than our hearts can hold. Or rather—for I believe the heart is infinite—modern communication loads us with more problems than the human frame can carry. It is good, I think for our hearts, our minds, our imaginations to be stretched; but body, nerve, endurance and life-span are not as elastic. My life cannot implement in action the demands of all the people to whom my heart responds.” *

In our digital age, we’re stretched even further, the vibrations shake us. I find comfort in knowing, however, that the “heart is infinite.” I’m reminded of the vision of love George Fox recorded in his journal: “I saw that there was an ocean of darkness and death, but [also] an infinite ocean of light and love, which flowed over the ocean of darkness. And in that also I saw the infinite love of God.”  Perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it (John 1:5).

There’s no question we’re in trying times. Daily, I find myself praying for wisdom and discernment to know what is mine to do. I can’t conjure hope on my own, nor can I compel myself to love. So this too becomes my prayer: “Help me to love.”
 
*Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Gift From the Sea, 1956.
 

​Continue the conversation in the comments, below

One of my favorite Christmas stories is A Christmas Carol. A real hot take, I know. I enjoy a good spin on the story, and Spirited (2022, PG-13) is an interesting expansion of Dickens’ tale. **SPOILERS AHEAD** Spirited purports that Dickens’ novel was based on true events, and it wasn’t the only time three spirits visited someone on Christmas Eve night to try to change them into a better person. In fact, there is an entire organization in the afterlife dedicated to this annual event. Their goal each year is to create “one less hateful human” in the world. However, they tend to focus on changing people far less cruel and self-focused than Ebenezer Scrooge, whom they had considered unredeemable.
 
The Ghost of Christmas Present is tired of these easier cases and wants to take on an unredeemable in the coming year. He notes the ripple effects on the world that would occur from changing an unredeemable would be much greater. The team reluctantly goes along with Christmas Present’s plan, and their fears about doing so are borne out: their target, media consultant Clint Briggs, does not play along and actively works against their efforts to change him. But Christmas Present refuses to give up.
 
Clint does eventually do something good, in part due to the work of the three spirits haunting him. However, Christmas Present expresses confusion when the singing that signals that their work has been successful doesn’t start. Clint explains that he isn’t wholly changed. He did one good deed, but he’s going to go back to work the next day and continue doing the horrible things he had been doing (oppositional research to crush the competition, no matter the cost). No one’s whole being is changed overnight, he claims.
 
Clint then does one more good deed, something that goes against his very being. As he sings in the song that occurs after this good deed, signaling that he has changed:

Clint: “I thought when the push came to the shove, I knew just what I'd do. I'd put me before you”

Christmas Present: “But you didn't”

Clint: “I guess I didn't”
 
Is he completely changed at this point? No, but he has started on a path of change that he intends to follow and the movie shows him following it years in the future. Clint demonstrates to himself and the spirits that change is a process, and it doesn’t have to happen in a single night or involve an intense experience. Even small changes can have ripple effects.
 
In this version of A Christmas Carol, the theme is about making small changes in our day-to-day lives, which are sustainable and build up over time, creating ripple effects on who we are, the people we interact with, and the world we live in. Though Road-to-Damascus experiences do happen, change typically involves steady work over time. The Apostle Paul was clearly changed drastically by his encounter with the risen Christ, but he still had work to do to understand his experience and determine how to move forward on his new path. And the people around him had to be convinced of his change, partly through trusted people speaking up for him and partly through witnessing sustained change in his behavior over time.
 
Maybe your Christmas was the transformative day/season you had hoped it would be this year or maybe it wasn’t. Regardless, Jesus’ advent, presence with us, teaching, transformation, and guidance are with us all year long. “And whether it’s Christmas day or a random day in May” (as the song in Spirited goes), you can take steps to be more of the person Christ is calling you to be, to join into God’s work of redemption, reconciliation, salvation, and healing for the whole of Creation. Christ calls us to take up our cross and follow every day. It is difficult, continuous, effortful work. It creates ripples in our lives, in the lives of others, and upon all that God has made.
 
And, just like in Spirited, we do not do it alone. Emmanuel, God with us, is always walking beside us and leading the way ahead of us. We are called to be in community as we work toward making these changes, small or large though they might be at any given time. I’m looking forward to walking with you, waving to you, taking your hand, helping you up, cheering you on, and receiving all of this and more from Jesus and you in the coming year!
 
P.S. I highly recommend listening to the song “Do a Little Good” from Spirited, or at least reading the lyrics (below). It always brings tears to my eyes in terms of its hope and encouragement and even more so as I acknowledge God’s essential presence and action in the process.



Continue the conversation in the comments, below.

I have a tendency to fill my plate to overflowing with anything and everything. Food, tasks, classes, work, hobbies...you name it. I am one of those people who has to stay busy! The problem comes when I realize I have put on too many pounds, the task list is impossible to finish, work has a zillion deadlines looming, and I put away one more craft project for a "next time" that rarely comes. I run around trying to catch up, until eventually I buckle under the load.
 
Usually it is around this time that I realize every plate is full except for the plate I use to dine with Jesus. I also realize that Jesus has been tugging at my heart saying, “I can help with all that, you know.” At some point, I finally see that to stop and be with Jesus is the only antidote to the busyness and floundering I’ve brought upon myself. I don’t know how many times I am going to have to learn this lesson before it sticks! So I reprioritize and my perspective changes. I spend time reading a few verses of the Bible before breakfast. I pray on my way to work. And I set three things for the top of my list to complete. I still don’t always get everything off my plate, but I see things much differently.
 
When I am in charge of what I need to do, feeling overwhelmed is a part of the process. When Jesus is in charge of what I need to accomplish, I see the trees and the forest. I see the details in my work that I enjoy, instead of the tedium and boredom that bring me down. When I take the time to include Jesus, my days go smoother and I enjoy a multitude of things to tackle like a game to win. We are a formidable team!
 
Sometimes I feel Jesus inviting me to even more slowing down. For a while, this looked like me taking retreats twice a year. Just for a day. Usually, I took a drive to the ocean where I could put my feet in the sand and hear the power of the waves. It is easy to find God at the ocean. I miss that now that I don’t live 45 minutes away from the ocean. But I am pledging to get away from this desert heat where I now live, and go to the mountains where I can spend some time alone with God. Time to dine with Jesus, time to talk to him about how much I love him and how I got off track once again. Then a time to renew my heart.


Buckling under the load--can you relate? What helps you? Continue the conversation in the comments, below.

I’m really good at plowing through pain. I tell myself that it’s the only way someone with chronic pain like me can get things done. I want to tackle as much as I can–be it work, chores, exercise, or fun, in community and on my own, because inevitably, the pain will force me to stop. When I’m forced to stop, I keep still and wait until the pain eases. I have to wait it out for days, sometimes weeks. Those days are difficult, often laced with confused emotions, guilt, anxiety, and sadness. So on the flip side of doing too much, I find myself doing very little, while waiting. Through college, graduate school, work, and married life, this pain controls what I can or can’t do, my mood, relationships, confidence, interests, and plans. 

This summer, desperate and discouraged, I enrolled in a 12-week pain rehabilitation education program at Mary Free Bed Hospital, in Grand Rapids, Michigan. There, our cohort was presented with an alternative way of getting things done: pacing. Mind blowing and groundbreaking? Not really. It’s simple, but most of us are terrible at remembering to do it. I believe anyone, not just those of us dealing with illness and pain, would benefit from practicing a “slow and steady” approach to life.

When pacing, activity is timed and we plan rest breaks. Rest does not equate to doing nothing. Rest or downtime activities are intentional restorative activities. Some examples of rest include sorting the mail, making a phone call, hydrating, pausing from looking at the computer to rest our eyes, messaging a friend, and deep breathing exercises to bring our stress level down.

Remembering to rest while we’re still going strong doesn’t happen easily. My brain refuses downtime because I believe I can do more. We like to connect frequent rest breaks to unhelpful narratives of I’m not giving it my all or I'm lazy. Knowing this would be an issue, our instructor told us to set a timer. Our timed activity is determined by taking the average length of time we’re able to tolerate activity free of pain, reduced further by 20%. I’m now pacing my daily exercises and outdoor yard work. Instead of letting pain determine how long and far I can walk or do yard work, I time both activities so they last only 15 minutes. Since pacing, I’ve actually been able to do more in the long run. This in contrast to previously trying to power through in one fell swoop, followed by days of being out. By breaking up my activities and planning periods of rest, I feel more in control, instead of overwhelmed by the unpredictability of pain and pain itself.

Where in your life are you being invited to pace and intentionally plan restorative breaks? How might pacing strengthen your relationship with God and loved ones? What are some examples of ways you like to rest and restore? How have others demonstrated “slow and steady” for you?


Continue the conversation in the comments, below!

There’s a saying in Western Oregon where I live: “If you don’t like the weather, wait five minutes.” This is especially apropos in early spring, when gloom and rain descend one minute, and sunshine prevails the next. Hail. Rain. Sun. Rain. Clouds. Repeat through March and into April. Darkness and light juxtaposed daily.
 
I’m writing on Good Friday, the darkest day imaginable for those first followers of Jesus. They see their friend tortured and put to death, then, in despair and fear, lock themselves into a room together and try to wrap their minds around the events of the previous few days. With their hearts and minds a tangled mess, they huddle to hash out their futures. What’s going to happen now?
 
Just hours earlier, Jesus had hosted a special supper just for them. They shared a meal, and as they sat around the table Jesus promised that he was going to be with them always. He gave them wine to drink and bread to eat—tangible reminders of his presence with them. In them.
 
Towards the end of their time together, Jesus wrapped a cloth around his waist and knelt to wash each disciple’s feet in turn. Peter objected: “Master, I should be the one washing your feet!”
 
“No,” Jesus said. “I do this for you so that you will be ready to do the same for others.” He was showing them how to respond to the Imago Dei—the image of God—in each person they met. Every time they offered hospitality or care for a neighbor, God would be there.
 
By the time you read this we’ll have moved past Good Friday and through Easter. The Light will have overcome the darkness, Life prevailing. Oregon’s spring weather will continue to fluctuate, but temperatures will get milder, the rains softer. I’ll go out to my flower beds and discover that the peonies I planted last year have sprouted and pushed their way up through the mulch. Life has been moving, growing in the darkness, hidden. Even when I couldn’t see God, God was there.

 
Continue the conversation in the comments, below!